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My sister's breakfast is happy.

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The Biggest thing to hit this town since...

This morning I headed out in a white tank top and khaki pants, small purse and book in hand, and walked around the corner to the local High School, which I attend, and prepared to stand in line for the next four hours, waiting for the doors to open to go in and get a seat to watch Mr. Bill Clinton the former president of the United States of America give a speech on why we should all vote for his wife in the coming presidential election. It was a good speech, I suppose, and if I could vote, and if voting were for a speech and not for a president, I would vote for that speech. Otherwise, I'm not a supporter of Hillary.

The day was nice and warm and I spent most of it waiting outside the high school doors with my speech team friends and coaches. Our head coach got there early and "saved us all spots" nearly at the head of the line. Eric and Al B and I, bored of sitting around on the sidewalk, left for a while to go to Eric's house around the corner and put together some signs on poster paper with sharpies advertising Speech Night, which will be on Monday evening. When we returned to the high school, the line had grown to stretch nearly all the way around the large high school and then double back! We carried our signs and Al B and Eric yelled out the details of the event. It was fun, and we got to see everybody who planned to get in to see Bill, including many people we knew.

After the speech, I was walking home and stopped at the corner of my street with a small group opf other people, some of whom I knew, to wait to see Mr. Clinton and his secret servicemen leave. A block away he got out and shook people's hands, but he only waved out the window at us.

*shrug*

It was pretty cool, though.

Good Morning

Ok, so it's actually around 11 o' clock at night, but whatever... I've decided to try and post more often on this blog again, so... be prepared.

jazz blues

i went to the high school's jazz holiday performance tonight to say hello to friends in the choir and band and enjoy the music, but it really only made me feel very lonely. i didn't say hi to any friends; i realized that all of the people who i think are my close friends really only talk to me on rare special occassions and outside of holiday parties, speech practice, or the internet, they might not even see me.
I don't think this is actually the case but that's how it feels... if that makes any sense.
but people who i love and admire and want to be best friends with hardly notice me and it hurts a lot. maybe i don't make myself noticeable. maybe i should sum up my courage and go freaking say hallo to 'em, but I don't, so i feel lonely.
so it's my own fault, and actually i did say hello to amber, whom i haven't actually seen for... upwards of five years. we were best friends in kindergarten, elementary, the time when we were... short. :D
so yeah. g'night. ^_^

Hippie Day vs. Mom's Past

This week at school is "spirit week", and each day has a different theme to dress to. Monday was Pajama Day, and I wore my... oddly enough... baggy dragon pajama pants and tank top. Tuesday was Random Day... I just wore my red t-shirt from threadless.com: http://www.threadless.com/product/209/Fire_and_Ice#zoom

but today was Hippie Day. Earlier in the week I asked Mom what I should wear on Hippie Day. She offered an old dress that she still has; it's all patched up in a clamshell pattern down the skirt and has a wide neck. The fabrics are all brown and rust red and leather and corduroy and it's really quite beautiful; though I don't really like the cut, as there is a tight line around my stomach when i wear it because in the sixties and in communes where my mom wore this dress, 45 years ago, girls wore their skirts at their waist...

but yeah. I was the most official hippie there today.

gaaaah

Oof. I haven't updated my blog in so long! I feel really bad. But no one reads it anymore, anyway.
I don't really have much to say... but I'll try to be a little more consistent in updating in the future. as usual.

Me!(ez)

yay ^_^

sooo today was a lot better than yesterday even though stupid things happened :D
this morning i left home to walk to school in the beautiful fog. i got to school, went upstairs to the portion that is actually my school, and was putting my junk in my locker when travis and patrick walk by. travis greets me by calling me "panda bear" which he always does *shrug* and patrick asked me if I remembered to bring the stuffed animal and dowel that we're using in our biology movie about evolution (lawlz). AAAAAAAAAH! I slammed my locker and ran all the way back home, hoping that my dad would still be there because i didn't have my key... or phone. luckily my dad was there sitting on the couch watching TV (he has a very exciting life) and i got inside and took the broom handle and went through my stuffed animals until i pulled out a possum puppet that alex gave to me for my seventh birthday. my dad gave me a ride back to school because i had about two minutes left... I arrive in plenty of time and the possum on a stick was an instant hit around the school. I am now the owner of a famous McMinnville icon; Possum-on-a-Stick.
anywho, patrick, david, jesus and I's short video was AWESOME and the possum did very well. I might post the vid on youtube sometime... or patrick will, we'll see. our video put our science teacher almost in tears, she was laughing so hard.
the possum made its way around school..
so yeah. the rest of the day was pretty chill. ^_^ i stole all of james' carob chips and one clementine orange in PBL class. they were pretty yummy.
then after school i walked with tia to the buses because it's more fun to walk the long way around the school with friends than to walk the shorter way on meh lonesome.

Keep in mind that I was carrying a long pole with a stuffed possum on the tip around all the way to school. This gained school-wide attention. it also gave me a really good excuse to stop and talk (explain what the heck i was doing with a possum on a stick) to the cute guy who is my latest stalking target. I pass him on my way home nearly every day now. ^_^ it was exciting.

so yeah. then I get home and realize i'm totally locked out of my house. i hide my backpack in the recycling bin and put the possum brrom handle side up. safety first.
then i walked around the corner to the eric's house and asked his dad if he had our housekey, only to remember that we just GOT A NEW DOOR so they don't have our new key yet. :P so eventually i just ended up chilling at their house with eric and matt and their parakeet, Alexxys (or however they spell it) and it was pretty fun. i called my dad, and he came by in about twenty minutes. yup.

so today was a good day. and now in about 45 minutes i have speech practice, and that's fun, even though i can't go to this saturday's woodburn tournament. after that i'm going to wait for my surrogate/spare big brother Andrew to get online.

and then it's a FOUR DAY WEEKEND!!!!!!!!! yeyeah!

^__^__^^__^__^__^__^^__^_^ <== rawr

meh

so today sucked... in a passive agressive sort of way, I suppose. Disappointments add up. I feel like such a loser. I'm behind on my reading and journaling homework... but I have the highest grade in both the classes that I have to do it in. I don't think i can go to australia for school next year - i didn't sign up fast enough, and Australia is all filled up. I was so looking forward to that, but I can't now. I guess I can go senior year... but i really wanted to go next year.
the people i most want to be friends with are the hardest to befriend.
my days seem to go from extreme highs to extreme lows. Some days i feel lucky and happy and loved and excited for tomorrow, and the next day I feel blah. unloved, unnoticed, out of the loop.
which really just makes me feel like a dork. :P

Neah-kah-nie speech & debate tournament 2007!

yesterday's speech & debate tournament was up there with my top five most fun days EVER. ^__^
I would go into detail but it was so complex i don't feel like typing it out. :D
it was a looong drive to the tournament, starting at 5 in the morning, but it was so worth it! I love my speech & debate teammates to death, they all rock. ^_^
Eric came in first in after-dinner speech, it was so HILARIOUS! Al B. came in first for Radio, his was also hilarious. Other teammates won other things, too. it was great! ^_^ Thomas and I won one public debate out of three, but they were all against Open and we were Novice, so we did really well.
The tournament, in honor of halloween next week, was a costume contest as well... I wore my genie costume from last year, it worked out well but i was freaking COLD in round 2 debate... so I stole Eric's sweater until I could find mine again. Thomas was a ninja, Michelle was a pirate, Becca was a ladybug, Spencer was Mr. Rogers (LOL! he kept cussing and doing very un-Mr. ROger-like things, which we gave him a hard time about :D) Eric and Michael didn't wear costumes, they just wore their suits.. michael claimed to be James Bond. Al B. had an awesome costume, he should have won the contest: he had board shorts on and his very baggy jeans were literally at his knees the whole day. he had on a black sweater with bones and skulls aligning with his actual body, a bowler hat with a paper gold crown and a feather on it, and a large wall clock on a huge chain around his neck. his t-shirt said "flava". it was hilarious. He also cut hishair; he was bored, apparently. We told people that he dressed like that every day, it was funny. Actually, he usually wears more normal jeans and a plaid suit...coat. jacket. whatever. Al B. rocks.

Our Speech & Debate garden gnome mascot: we only lost him once, we thought he'd been stolen again like he had been in the past but it turned out Spencer had just taken him with him downstairs, so after several announcements made by Eric in the cafeteria to the 200 other people there, it turned out he hadn't been stolen after all. btw, our gnome says on the bottom in sharpie "if you steal our gnome, we'll kick your ass". no one belives us...

sooo yeah. I lurv speech & debate sooo much!

i need somebody to love (me)

Ok, so I do have friends at my new school. I hang out with philip and victoria mostly, and they're awesome and we have a lot of fun. Travis calls me panda bear and gives me hugs sometimes... inside joke... and patrick and i are always paired up together... but I don't know if we're friends, it's hard to see through him he's such a crazy kid. I know everyone else, i get a high five from lucas when i wear my modest mouse shirt, i chat on deviantART with Mariah. And i still have my japanese school buddies, alex follows me around and talks to me. Tonight at the choir performance i waved to ben, talked with eric, high-fived philip and talked to him a little. i said hi to ehren but i don't think he recognized me >.<... so yeah. with all these peeps, why do i feel... lonely? i guess i look at people's myspaces and stuff and all their comments are about how awesome each other are and things like that. everyone seems to know everybody else intimately, and i feel like i'm hanging on the edge, not really there. i have brief spells of feeling content with my limited friends, but philip and victoria hate the school and are trying to leave to go back to the main high school... what am i going to do when they leave? it took me a month to find them, and i've tried to become closer friends with other people but i haven't made any progress. maybe i don't try hard enough, or i need to push myself into their circles more. or back off or something i don't know. people are so different, and i miss bailey and ashley and katie and hannah. so yeah.

blah

ok, so if anyone actually read my blog, they might notice that my last post made little to no sense. Just bear with me. Also, the person who asked me for my number has nothing to do with anything else in the post.

broken

I think i broke someone's heart.
I don't know if I lost a friend. I don't know anything. I don't know why I have to wait, I don't know why I can't just tell them that I have a boyfriend, I don't know why I don't like to be seen together, I don't know why I refused an offer.

Two weeks ago some guy sked me for my number. He looked weird and I said no and kept walking my dog.

This week, through the course of five days, grew close, fell, questioned, fled, and died.

and i don't know why.

hikyuu...

My kitty of the past few years, Hikyuu, my baby who is evil and doesn't like anyone. My parents say we are going to get rid of her, we have to, because she marks her territory around the house on a daily basis. she pees on everything she can reach.

i don't want her to go, i love her, but we can't have a cat that pees all over the place.

I've never not had a cat. We had Pilgrim when I was born, and before he died we picked up Hikyuu out of our backyard.

my mom bought a can of "feliway" but now for some reason won't use it.

does anybody want a cat that pees everywhere and hates everyone?

no.

what am i going to do? nobody wanted her when we found her, and now nobody will want her anyway.

Gone Shoppin'

I used to hate shopping. I really loathed walking into stuffy department stores and walking around, trying things on, blah de blah blah blah.
but now, I love shopping! I like walking around and looking at clothes and imagining what they would say about me. Soooo yesterday I went with Beezer and her little sister and her friend-turned-my-friend and Beezer's mom to a mall on the coast and shopped 'til we dropped... AKA ran out of stores/money. :D

I bought three pairs of jeans, two camis, socks, underwear, lots of earrings, a super-comfy and warm sweater, annnd... i think that's it.

just in case anyone was curious.





aaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiii i feel conformist. oh well. i'm really not. i swear.